porkyandthemob

Apparently I haven’t written in a long time, apparently it’s because of my rate change, apparently I could do something about it, but apparently I’m not going to.

Burnout; it’s what I have in this very moment. My writing has gone off the deep end – it’s no secret, I know. It’s become very lame, very blaw blaw. I admit it. I skipped yesterday because “I was too tired.” Too tired? I hate that excuse. Every time I hear someone say that, “I’m too tired,” I want to slap them. Too tired? Are you kidding me? Just get off your butt and let’s go! What’s the trouble, too tired, boo hoo. On the double, GO! “You can sleep when you’re dead.” That’s when I slapped myself figuratively speaking this evening and started to write. Sometimes you just need a good slap in the face.

Book: Pages, volumes, manuscripts, documents, text, characters, script, lettering, writing, words, title, contents, prelude, prologue, draft, symbols, marks, inscription, prose, literature, journalism, style, grammar, technique, approach, metaphor, simile, allegory, image, figure of speech, parable, fable, story, tale, legend, myth, fairy tale, fiction, nonfiction, illusion, account, chronicle, history, narrative, description, adjective, adverb, verb, noun, pronoun, preposition, proper noun, syntax, sentence, sentence structure, articulate, coherent, expressive, leisure, enjoyment, boredom, chore, rhetoric, logical, lucid, well-spoken, well-written, well-structured, uniform, education, learning, teaching, schooling, instruction, training, lesson, university, classes, student, professors, pupils, graduate, skill, ability, aptitude, test, exam, assessment, theory, edification, clarification, truth, falsehoods, opportunity and advancement; book.

Aspirin: You can get it by twos in yellow, small paper sacs at any of the corner drugstores you find in France. You can tell they are pharmacies because 1) they all have large, green neon crosses jutting out over the sidewalk and 2) they are on just about every corner. The first place I ever bought an aspirin was at one of these in Bourg-en-Bresse. The city has 40,000 people and 4,964 pharmacies. There was an entire wall dedicated to aspirin in my pharmacy – can you imagine the quantity of these little pills in this mini metropolis alone? It’s no wonder Bayer is one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world – they’ve got half of France hopped up on aspirin!

In the element of time and space come things of matter, spirit, substance and thought. Solitude and solemnity are often aspects that prevail until they are disturbed. Things will keep on going until they are affected adversely or favorably. And that is a matter of subjectivity; a property of thought, independence, spirit or mind. In these cosmos we can explore thought or space, but through it all what can be really learned without learning of oneself? The inner most aspect of the soul is the location of all truth. That is what the final and most enduring objective of our existence ought to be. The problem with all this is that it’s all just a bunch of babble; words put into sentences but with no real goal of communication - sentences with fancy words made to impress educated people who are too stupid and too determined to be renowned themselves that they cling to crap like this. I have a suggestion for you people – don’t waste your time on nonsense, try doing something fun with the people you love, like going to the park. How’s that for deep?

I learned that there were 2.6 million Mexican immigrants in the U.S. labor force in 1990.  And then in the year 2000 there were 4.9 million.[i]  There are 400 Million Spanish speakers in the world and 40 million live in the US[ii] - that’s 10%!  Now, I know roughly 17 words in Spanish but I’m told that isn’t enough.  I was also told that over 1/3 of all Californian’s speak Spanish[iii]  (California is the most populous state in the union may I remind you) and in my local middle class neighborhood bank (not in
California) there are two signs advertising a new kind of account.  One sign is in English, one sign is in Spanish – the Spanish one is on top.  What should people like me (or even people who don’t know 17 Spanish words) do?  My suggestion: learn Spanish.

[i] Migration_Information.org. 2/23/08. Migration Policy Institute. 2/24/08. http://www.migrationinformation.org/USfocus/display.cfm?id=206

[ii] Wikipedia.org. 2/23/08 Wikipedia Online Encyclopedia. 2/24/08. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_in_the_United_States

[iii]Wikipedia.org. 2/23/08 Wikipedia Online Encyclopedia. 2/24/08. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_in_the_United_States#Official_status

Finis!  Finis!  Finis!  Finis!  This is all I ever hear.  Finis!  Finis!  Finis!  It’s like this kid has no other word in her vocabulary.  Finis – finished.  Finished eating, finished going potty, finished coloring, finished bathing, finished being in time out, finished taking a nap, finished, finished, finished.  Now the real problem isn’t the word, it’s the location of it in whichever process she is working on.  “Finis!”  She yells out.  “Well my darling little girl you actually need to start eating before you’re finished.  Just because you are finished getting buckled into your high chair does not qualify the meal to be over – you actually have to put some food in your mouth.  And no, just because you threw the fork on the floor doesn’t mean you are finished either.”  At least I have the hope that when she is older and a guy comes over to pick her up she’ll say “Finis!” and slam the door in his face before they actually go anywhere.

And the winner is… that’s right folks, just three years out and never a battle lost, the prize goes to your very own, home town hero, Spot.  That’s right; Spot’s been battling those mosquitoes, ticks and mites every day in your back yard, playground, and neighborhood streets to serve you better.  He has had a bite or two as expected, but he has yet to have been infected by the West Nile Virus.  And thanks to this wonderful modern age of vaccinations in which we live he has not contracted typhoid, measles, mumps or malaria either.  Now don’t wait another minute, bring your dog in to Make Your Puppy a Yuppie Veterinary today!  Is your dog protected like Spot?

Helvetica: I’ve lived in the Helvetica Confederation and nobody, I mean nobody writes like this!  Georgia: I’ve never been to Georgia, so I have no comment.  Symbol:  I don’t get it.  Tahoma: Sounds like Tacoma.  Terminal:  As in terminally ill or as in end of the line Terminal.  Times New Roman: I don’t see any Roman influence here, can someone show it to me?  Veranda: All my emails were always in Veranda at my last job.  I couldn’t change them.  Andale Mono:  Italian?  Arial: This was the only font my fathers first printer would print.  Has nothing to do with the Little Mermaid though.  I’m so dissapointed.  Book Antiqua: Are books really printed in Book Antiqua?  Comic Sans MS: I actually have seen comics with this font.

The morning sunlight is hitting the grass outside the window. The windowpane is surprisingly clear. I wonder if my wife cleaned it. In fact, our whole room is quite clean. The whole desk is clear of its usual debris. As I write the wood pattern seeps through the paper. Non-linear lines, reaching up and then taking sharp U-turns back down. I wonder what kind of wood this is. It’s dark, perhaps cherry. A hand-me-down from family, it serves its purpose. My writing continues as I shift my weight in the old seat that came with the desk. Its ancient iron bars and heavy brown leather combined weigh over 40 pounds. Its rusted joints creek and moan after nearly 50 years of use. They don’t make them like they used too…